Family Comes First
by klaruus
Summary: Julia Shepard Gibbs is 20 years old girl. 5 years ago she got into a huge fight with her parents Jenny Shepard and Leroy Jethro Gibbs. She now has a fiance and a daughter. Moving back to Washington she has to relive all the pain that made her leave the city in the first place. Eventual Jibbs :D
1. Ziva?

_**Hi everyone! So this is my new Jibbs story. I used to have another account but lost access to it and my user name was**_ klarus _**so if you know my stories there, I'm sorry because I won't be able to continue writing those.**_

 ** _I've had this story stored for one other story :) But I've changed it and improved it so it will be written as independent story :D_**

 ** _I really hope you like it!_**

 **Family comes first**

Julia Shepard Gibbs is 20 years old daughter of Jenny Shepard and Leroy Jethro Gibbs. She used to live in Washington with her mother and used to help her parents around NCIS headquarters. The whole team was like her family. But her biggest goal was to get her parents back together because it was clear they were meant for each other. Unfortunately they wouldn't listen to her and 5 years ago they got into a huge fight which resulted in Julia leaving USA. She moved to London, England and removed all contact with her family. The only one she kept in contact was her sister-like best friend Ziva David. After 2 months living in London Julia heard the news about Ziva's death and it broke her heart. She went to the USA just for her funeral and left immediately after, avoiding any contact with her parents because it simply hurt too much even thinking about everything they had said to her.

Later in England she met a guy that was 4 years older than her, at that time 19. His name was Peter and was studying at music school. He already got a job at a quite prestigious orchestra as a conductor. They fell in love and 4 years later they got engaged. Around the same time Julia found out she was pregnant. Her fiancé knew everything about Julia's family and he supported her decisions all the way. When they got into a debate about the baby's names he suggested names that completely shocked Julia at first.

"Julia, if it is a girl, it'd be nice naming her Ziva."

"What? You can't be completely serious. I don't know if I could… you know, name her that." avoiding eye contact Julia almost whispered the last words, showing how much it still hurt her to think about her friend. "I don't know if I could stand seeing little girl and calling her by the name of my deceased best friend. It'd bring joy and pain at the same time. And I said I wanted to forget my old life. No, please let's choose another name."

"Okay, we still have a month or so to come up with names. We don't need to hurry anything." Peter hugged her and kissed her on top of her head making her snuggle into his embrace.

"I know. I can't wait to meet our child."

"Me neither. I love you so much Julia."

"I love you too."

But one month got around quickly and it was time for the baby to come. It was a girl and as soon as Julia got to hold her in her hands she knew one thing: she was going to name her baby girl Ziva. Julia knew the name would fit her daughter as she could already see that she was going to be strong and fierce but at the same time gentle, and a good friend.

Peter didn't have his parents anymore. They both died in a car crash almost ten years ago and ever since he lived with his uncle where Julia moved in later. Now that they were creating a family together it was time to look for a better place to live but first maybe find a better paying job. Soon after that he got a job offer that would be ideal if it wasn't for one small detail. The job he was offered happened to be in Washington, a city where Julia grew up, a city Julia was trying to forget. But he had to at least ask her.

It was late evening and Julia had just put Ziva to bed when Peter got home from work.

"Hi sweetie. Is Ziva asleep?" he asked seeing Julia exiting Ziva's room.

"Oh, hi." she smiled. "Yes, she just fell asleep. You're home late."

"I know. I had some things to sort out. Julia, I need to tell you something." It was clear he didn't know how to say it without scaring Julia before even bringing up the subject.

"What's wrong? Did you get fired?" Julia was already thinking about the possibilities that could've happened but she wasn't prepared for what came next.

"No, I got a new job offer, a better paying job offer…"

"-That's great! Congrats!" she hugged him immediately.

"But it's in Washington. I haven't accepted anything yet. I wanted to discuss it with you first."

Julia was confused. She was of course happy for him, but it was in Washington. A year ago she'd have immediately said no. But now she had to keep in mind that they had a daughter and they'd need extra money, at least until she got a job herself. "Washington? And how much of a raise is it?"

"Almost two times as much as I have it now. Look, you don't have to say anything right now; I have a week to tell the decision. But there's one more thing I wanted to tell you."

"Yes?"

"I think it'd be good for you to talk to your parents and try to clear things up between all of you. And besides, you have a daughter and they deserve to know that. I'd like my parents to know that they have a grandchild no matter what happened between us in the past."

"But you don't know how I felt when they said they were better off me! When they said that ever since I tried getting them back together they grew even further apart! You don't know how it felt to be told to leave them alone! It was awful. It still is awful… even though I miss them as hell. I miss them so much." crying, she collapsed on the chair and stared at her hands. She felt a tear escaping her eye.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. But… see? You miss them. I know you do and I know you always wanted to answer those phone calls but wanted to be stubborn thinking they really are better off you. But they would never have called if they hadn't missed you as well. You know that and you have to try. You can make things better so why not take a chance and try? It's for the sake of you and them as well. And besides, I bet they'd love to meet your handsome fiancé." he smiled at the end and made her chuckle as well.

"You know, we are moving to Washington."

"We are? I didn't say you have to make a decision right now."

"But I did. If I think about it a week longer I might change my mind… hundred times. So we are moving to Washington."

Peter chuckled and hugged her as hard as he could. "I have a week to tell my choice and then another two weeks until I get transferred to Washington music school as a teacher and their orchestra conductor. But you know, if you want to have your family time, you can leave tomorrow with Ziva and you could probably stay at your parents if things work out well. If they don't I can still get you a hotel room or something."

"I don't know. I probably would need some alone family time, you know, to explain everything and talk about everything. I thing I really could leave tomorrow but then I have to prepare everything today. And it's already 10pm. Mind helping me?"

"Of course I'll help you. I love you." he kissed her and smiled.

"I love you too."

 ** _What do you think? You like it? You don't? Tell me what you think by writing a review, I'll be happy to answer any questions. You'll hear from me on tuesday when I'll update another chapter!_**

 ** _LOVE YOU ALL 3_**


	2. It's Julia

_**Hi everyone! It's not yet Tuesday but I've decided to post another chapter today since I already had it written so here is chapter 2 of Family Comes First.**_

 _ **I hope you liked the first chapter and that you'll enjoy the second one as well.**_

 _ **ENJOY!**_

Chapter 2: It's Julia

Peter helped Julia with all the baggage and they were at the airport at 10am and ready to go. To leave London and return to Washington, a city full of memories for Julia. Except this time she was returning with a family of her own.

Peter hugged Julia one last time before they'll be separated for almost 3 weeks. "Take care of Ziva and yourself as well. Go and make everything alright between you and your parents and don't forget to call me as soon as you land in Washington, ok?"

Julia was clearly scared of leaving. She didn't know what she was more scared of, facing her unresolved memories or facing them without Peter by her side. Anyways she was scared to leave without knowing what to expect. "I'll take care. I will miss you so much. Three weeks is quite a long time, you know."

"Everything will be alright. I'll call you every evening, well that'll be around noon in Washington… I know you can do this."

"Yeah we'll talk, every day, I promise. I love you so much."

"I love you to." he kissed her before hugging Ziva "I love you too little one."

Julia smiled and waved him goodbye as she walked through the terminal. And there she was, at the point of no return. She couldn't believe she was actually going back to Washington. Back to the only place she promised never to go again, ever.

 **Julia P.O.V.**

Boarding has finally started and as I was going with a month old child, I was given a priority to board first, just behind the 1st class passengers. Ziva was surprisingly calm even at takeoff but soon after that she became hungry.

We landed in Washington. It was getting dark outside and the memories were already present. I remembered myself, a total emotional wreck, the last time I was walking this airport, the last time I looked at the city and left for good… at least I thought so. But now here I am standing in front of that same airport again, 5 years later, with a daughter Ziva. Thankfully I still kept some contacts from here so it didn't take long to reach a friend of dad's, a taxi driver who had driven me to the airport the last time.

"Hi, it's Julia; I don't believe you remember me anyway-"

"-Of course I remember you! How could I forget that heartbroken girl that I saw, what, 5 years ago?"

"Yeah, you're right, that was me. You still drive taxi?"

"Sure. But I don't exactly fly to London often."

"No, I'm here in Washington, at the airport. Can you pick me up as soon as you can? I'm with my daughter."

"In Washington? But I thought you said you'd never even fly across it again."

"Don't ask… I can explain everything later."

"Yeah, sure. Be right there." and he hung up.

He actually remembered me and that warmed me up a bit, but not enough to keep out everything else. The people, the cars, the lights, everything was so Washington. Even the air smelled like Washington. I suddenly remembered I had to call Peter and so I did.

He picked up quickly "Hi! How are you? How was the flight?"

"Hi. I'm a bit overwhelmed by everything. I think that even air smells different here. But the flight was nice, Ziva was quiet and calm all the time except for when she was hungry, as usual."

I heard him chuckle "She has that after you, you too almost cry when you're hungry."

"Hey, that's not true."

"But it is. So are you on your way to the NCIS already?"

"I'm still at the airport, I've called a friend of dad's. He's a taxi driver and I still got his contact. He's picking me up… oh there he is. Gotta go! Love you, Ziva loves you too."

"Bye. Have fun. Love you both." And there I was getting into a taxi was about to take me to NCIS headquarters.

Dean was the driver's name. And he was the most friendly taxi driver I've ever met. "Hi Julia!" he hugged me tightly. "It's so nice to see you. It's been some long 5 years since you left. Oh… and this must be your daughter. How cute she is. Looks like you, especially those blue eyes."

"Yeah that's my daughter. Ziva." I said smilingly. I saw him look at me and there was some kind of empathy in his eyes at the mention of Ziva. He knew what my friend Ziva meant to me.

"That's very nice of you to name her Ziva. I think she'd loved that."

"She would."

"So let's get moving. Where to my lady?"

"NCIS headquarters."

"So I thought. May I ask why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you've decided to come back? Why you've decided that after 5 years and not after the first two years when your parents constantly tried to reach you via phone calls? And why you've never picked those up?"

"You know what happened. You know everything they said to me and you were the last one that saw me so you sure must now that I meant it when I said I'm never getting close to this city again. Therefore you know how hurt I've been and you can understand why I wanted all this," I motioned with a hand pointing around the city, "to disappear. I wanted to forget everything. And as stubborn as I am I sure as hell wasn't going to let anything change that. Not even Ziva's death. I owed her that much to come to her funeral and to say the last goodbye but I sure wasn't going to stay here any longer. And so I left, as I thought, forever. But now, my fiancé got a job offer here and he's the one that said it'd be better for me and my parents if I at least tried to make things better. It was him who said that they deserve to know they have a granddaughter. And so here I am, going to headquarters to see what happens. And I'm scared as I don't remember being ever before."

"I understand. I understand why you left and now that you mention everything, I know why you never answered or returned phone calls. As for your fiancé, he clearly loves you and cares about you because even I can see you've changed since you left Washington. I hope you make everything alright and the next time I see you won't be to take you to the airport again."

We arrived at the headquarters and I looked at Dean and smiled. "I hope so too. Can I just ask you to help me bring everything to the security guard, I hope it's still Bill so he'll let me leave things down there until I know where I'm staying."

"Yeah sure. If you don't have anywhere to stay I have a guest room in my house and I bet my wife would be glad to let you two stay there."

"Thanks for the offer, though I hope I get to stay with my mom."

"I hope so too." and there I was. In the lobby of NCIS headquarters, about to enter it after long 5 years. It felt right to be there, it felt like… like home. Like returning home after a long journey. Yeah, it sure was long.

I entered the elevator in my hand holding Ziva in a baby carrier and with a bag containing Ziva's stuff over my shoulder. I almost wanted to stop the elevator and run away from everything. My heart was probably going crazy and my body was flowing with fear and excitement at the same time as well as expectation. And then there was this significant *ding* of an elevator stopping at the bullpen. I didn't exactly know what to expect but it still kind of surprised me to see everything the same as it was when I left. Dad's team still had the same desks; there was McGee and Tony behind their desks. They spotted me immediately and stood surprised. I could see Tony look at McGee in disbelief.

 **TONY P.O.V**

It was just another work day. Gibbs and Ellie have left to search for suspects leaving me and McGee to do some research on our computers. Obviously, McGee was called to Abby's lab multiple times, leaving me alone at the bullpen and then he'd come back and be like "Tony, haven't you done anything yet?" _Nooo! I haven't done anything at all but still I've done more than he did... Ever since Ellie cam he thinks he's better than he was before… probie."_

But at this moment he was in the bullpen as well. I was just writing down some address when I heard the elevator. I expected to see Gibbs come out of it but there she was. Standing, obviously older than last time, and more beautiful as well, gorgeous even… with a baby in her hands. I looked at McGee in utter disbelief and whispered to him, "McGee! Look! It's Julia!"

He suddenly looked up and then at me and said, "What? How? But… no she wouldn't be back, ever."

"But it is her! I know it's her." I saw her smile at me and she seemed somewhat scared but I returned the smile and got around the desk just as she came towards me.

 **JULIA P.O.V.**

As soon as I reached Tony I gently put Ziva on the desk and hugged him as hard as I could and I couldn't help but let the tears drop. I didn't want to let go but I eventually did just to look at his eyes and then hug him again, "I've missed you." was all that I could say at that time.

"Julia it really is you. I've missed you too." he let go of the hug and I got the chance to hug Tim as well.

"Hi, Tim. Missed you too."

"Yeah. I've missed you as well." he said hugging me back. I took a deep breath after he let go and spun around probably three times just to get it all sink in. I still couldn't believe I was actually here. It was nice meeting Tony and Tim but they weren't exactly the reason I left.

"Oh, guys. I'd like you to meet someone."

Tim looked at me in surprise "oooh a baby! I haven't even noticed yet, sorry." he said with a smile.

"Yeah," I chuckled, "a baby, my daughter. Her name's Ziva" I looked at them both and saw them take a deep breath but they appreciated a name though.

"Can I hold her?" Tony asked me.

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead. You too Tim, you can hold her as well."

"She's so cute, she looks so much like you." smiling at me, Tony observed.

I looked up the stairs and saw doors leading to my mom's office "Tony, Tim, can you take care of Ziva while I go talk to my mom? I'll then come down to introduce Ziva to her. I have to do this as soon as possible." I muttered the last sentence.

"Sure." They both said at the same time.

And so I was going up the stairs and stopped for a second in front of the first door. I walked in and Cynthia looked at me with surprise. "Julia? What an unexpected, but nice, surprise."

I smiled at her gently "Hi, yes it's me and I'm here. I know I am the most unexpected guest here but here I am and now… I have to talk to her." I motioned towards mom's office. Cynthia just simply nodded and I walked in. Before opening the doors Cynthia added "Oh and if you find her staring through the window and crying… she's been doing this a lot since you… since you left."

"Oh? Oh… I'll try to make things better. I promise, that's why I'm here in the first place."

 **And? How was it? Please let me know what you think in review section!**

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 **Another chapter is updated on Friday! If I get lot's of reviews it might be updated sooner!**

 **LOVE YOU**

 **Klaruus**


	3. It'll Take Time

_**Hi everyone! Thanks for your reviews!**_

 _ **So I decided to upload another chapter today which means you are getting at least one more this week :D**_

 _ **One of you requested a background story on a friendship between Julia and Ziva and also Ziva's death. I decided to do that in one of the following chapters but it's not yet in this one but I promise you'll get it soon!**_

 _ **I hope you like it!**_

I opened the door slowly and there she was, my mom, staring through the window clasping something that looked like a picture in her hands.

"Mom?" I said quietly and scared.

Mom turned around in surprise while wiping away her tears. She looked at me in disbelief but I couldn't do anything other than to just throw myself in her arms and hug her. "Julia? What… h-how… you're here." She said wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me tight.

"I'm here." was all that I could say. I just stayed there hugging her until I heard her sob and had to look her in the eyes to reassure her it really was me and that I really was back. She smiled at me "Oh Julia, I've missed you so much. I thought I'd never get to see you again." With that she looked away from me.

"Mom, look it's not only your fault that I left." I said taking the clue.

"I know… but still you were gone. My baby girl was gone and I know you were serious when I didn't even get to talk to when Ziva di- … at the funeral."

"Let me just hug you again, please. We'll get plenty of time to talk later. I just can't go over everything again the first day I'm back…"

"Okay. I understand." Mom answered and let me hug her again. I was happy I was here but something like that doesn't get okay overnight. It'll take some time to forgive but I will probably never forget.

"Mom? I'd like you to meet someone. Come with me down to the bullpen?" I grabbed her hand and lead her out of her office before she could answer.

She smiled at me "Sure. You have a boyfriend?" She asked while walking.

"No… I mean I have a fiancé but he's not here yet."

"What do you mean yet?"

"Well he'll come in three weeks."

 **GENERAL P.O.V**

Tony and McGee were at the bullpen, Tony currently the one holding little Ziva and talking to her when he noticed Julia coming towards him with Jenny following behind her.

Julia smiled at him and took Ziva from his hands, turning towards her mom she smiled widely "Mom, I'd like you to meet my daught-… I mean your granddaughter Ziva."

Jenny grinned at the sight of a little girl in her daughter's hands. "My granddaughter? She's so cute and she looks like you. She has your eyes." She held out her hands in order to get to hold Ziva in her arms and Julia happily gave baby to her. "Hi Ziva." Jenny smiled and looked at Julia, "It's nice that you chose that name. I think Ziva would've been honored. And it fits her."

"It felt like the right thing to do. When Peter" Julia looked at her mom and explained, "that's my fiancé's name, suggested to name a child Ziva if it happened to be a girl, I wasn't exactly keen on the idea, thinking that I won't be able to stand looking at my own daughter and reminding myself of my best friend all the time. But when I got to hold her for the first time and I saw this fierceness and strength in her eyes I knew that I should name her that was, so here she is, my little Ziva." Julia smiled and tickled Ziva who was still in Jenny's arms.

Tony seemed to have a question so he didn't wait to get attention, "So Julia, you say you have a fiancé."

"Yes, I do, as you know his name is Peter. Peter Owens." You could see how proud Julia was saying these words and showing how much she loved him and how much she respected him as he meant the world to her. He was the one that helped her stand up when she was completely broken after she left Washington and later when she found out her best friend had died.

"Is he coming to Washington as well?" Tony continued.

"Yeah, he'll be here in a little less than three weeks. And before you ask further questions, I'm just gonna tell you all everything as to why I'm back here and then if you have questions you can ask… If I still manage to talk without crying." Julia tried to give them a confident smile only to show how much it still hurt although 5 years have passed. "So as you know I left to never come back, ever. I met Peter, we got engaged, I got pregnant and gave birth to a lovely child. But the place we lived in was getting to small so Peter started to look for a better job so we could afford a house where the three of us could move in together. He then got a job request that was just what he was looking for… but it was here in Washington. After talking to me and doing some persuading I said that I'll go and talk to you and try to sort things out. So here I am. Peter still has to finish his work in London and then he'll come as well."

Jenny looked at Julia worry all over her face, "So you are moving here? Do you already have a house?"

"No, not yet. As a part of a job he'll get a temporary apartment for a month and then we have to find a house to live."

"But where are you staying till he comes to Washington?"

"Well, I was going to ask if maybe I could stay with you… if you don't mind."

Jenny smiled and immediately said, "Of course you can stay with me. I'll be happy to have you, like the old times."

Julia looked at her hands. "Yeah, like the old times… sorry, thanks for letting us stay." Julia was sorry for saying the words out loud the second she said them but Jenny acted as though it hadn't affected her although she knew what Julia meant and she knew it'll take some time to get her to trust her again and to build the relationship they once had. She knew things will be pretty much an emotional rollercoaster but she was willing to be patient as long as she had her daughter and now her granddaughter around her.

Ziva was getting a bit fussy and it was a sign for Julia that it was time to feed her so she grabbed a bag with Ziva's things, "mom, can I go to your office to feed Ziva? She's getting hungry and soon she'll be screaming like she hadn't eaten in ages."

Both Jenny and Tony chuckled while McGee grinned, knowing that Ziva definitely got that from Julia. "Sure, you can go."

Julia started walking upstairs and when she was almost at the top she looked down at her mom, Tony and Tim talking to each other, "Oh, mom, if you want you can come to your office, it's not like I'm throwing you out of it or that I'm shy… which you know I'm not so you can come and help me if you want?"

Jenny smiled and simply nodded then followed her daughter upstairs.

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 **LOVE YOU ALL**

 **Klaruus**


	4. Nothing Is Okay

_**Hi everyone! Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, favorited and followed. It really means a lot and gives me motivation to keep writing.**_

 _ **So here's another chapter. I hope you like it!**_

 _ **Also here is some of the background on Ziva but I'll try to put more in next chapters as well. It really fits in quite well.**_

 _ **ENJOY READING!**_

Ziva was fed and sound asleep in her chair in Jenny's office. Julia just left the office and went down to her mom who was in bullpen with Tony and Tim to inform them that she was going to greet Abby down at her lab and then Ducky as well. Tony informed her that Gibbs was still on field with Ellie following a suspect lead and that he probably wasn't to be back until few hours. That meant a lot of time to talk to as many people as possible and inform them that she was back. Julia felt a little tired already about telling everyone how much she missed them and telling the same story over and over again. But she had to in order to makes things as good as possible.

She stepped out of the elevator and walked to Abby's lab. She found her looking at her computer but with no music which was strange. Abby suddenly spun around and squeaked of excitement. "Julia! Julia! I knew it was you! Only you can come inside my lab without me noticing it, you still are the best at this and no one has ever managed to be as quiet as you." Abby hugged Julia and said, "You don't need to tell me how much you missed me because I know you did miss me. Anyways I missed you as well and I'm happy to see you again. Oh my god you definitely look a bit older."

"Abbs, calm down! I'm here and we have time to talk. You don't need to hurry" Julia chuckled at Abby's excitement. "But I do wonder where is all the music that I could usually hear down here?"

"Oh that… well I haven't exactly listened to it since you left because you were the only one that loved music to be as loud as possible. And after you left it reminded everyone of you. I didn't mind the music because it brought good memories but others apparently did."

"Who told you to turn off the music?"

Abby avoided Julia's eye contact and stared down at her hands.

"Abby?"

"It was your parents, kind of…"

"Well I kind of suspected that."

"But it's not your fault Julia; it hurt everyone when you left. Maybe it was better to turn off the music."

"But I'm back. You can turn it back on." Julia smiled and was happy to see Abby run towards her stereo and turn it on as much as possible. "Abbs! I'm going to see Ducky, care to come with me?" Julia said after the song was over and Abby quickly nodded, following Julia to the morgue.

Ducky looked up expecting to see Gibbs because only he seemed to come exactly when Ducky found something. But instead he saw Julia and Abby following right behind her. Abby was obviously excited. "Julia! For what do I owe the pleasure? It's nice to see you young lady, it's certainly been a long time."

Julia smiled when Ducky offered her his hand and brought her in for a hug. "It's nice to be back again, Ducky."

"What brought you back here? You finally changed that stubborn mind of yours?" Ducky asked with a smile on his face and that reminded Julia so she decided to tell them.

"Yeah, my fiancé kind of changed my mind."

"Your what?" Abby couldn't seem to hide the surprise and the excitement at the same time. "You're engaged? And you're telling me that now?! What's next, you tell me you have a child and-"

"-actually I do have a child, a month old girl." Julia quickly cut Abby off before she made any more conclusions. She couldn't help but chuckle when Abby hugged her with one of her best hugs and Ducky congratulated her and wished her all the best in family life. "You can meet her; she's up in mom's office. She was asleep when I left but since almost two hours have passed she might be awake."

Abby started jumping up and down, "Yes, yes, yes of course we'd like to meet her. What's her name?"

"Ziva."

Ducky nodded with approval while Abby just gave her another hard hug. They followed her up to the bullpen where they found Tony holding Ziva and Tim working something on his computer. Abby squealed with delight at the little baby and immediately wanted to hold her. Tony happily handed Ziva over and started explaining, "She woke up and the director brought her down. I offered to take care of her while she had some paperwork to do."

"It's okay Tony, you don't have to explain. I guessed she'd be awake anyway. Dad isn't back yet?"

Tim spoke up first, "actually they are about to be here in 10 minutes. I just got off the phone with Ellie and she told me that they have found the suspect dead, probably suicide."

"Okay." Julia nodded, anxious about her dad's arrival. She always had a special connection with him.

In the next ten minutes Ducky and Abby exchanged their places several times, each one of them holding Ziva for couple of minutes, others were talking to each other. Well they were mostly questioning Julia about her fiancé and how she chose her daughter's name.

And then there was this significant *ding* of the elevator and the doors opened. Julia and everyone else expected to see Ellie and Gibbs walk out of the elevator. Julia almost started towards the elevator only to spin around and look at everyone worryingly because only Ellie walked out of the elevator. Tony saw Julia's face and spoke up, "Ellie? Where's Gibbs?"

Ellie shook her head, "Another father-daughter relationship being ruined by the case, you know how he takes those since his daughter left. So he went home, probably going to get drunk under his boat again, did you guys know he named the boat Julia after his daughter?"

Julia managed a small smile and turned towards Ellie, "That daughter of his. That's me. I'm Julia."

Ellie almost blushed because she didn't know before, she thought it was one of case suspects, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything wrong. Only that Gibbs is really affected by everything since you left."

"Don't worry, you didn't say anything wrong." Julia smiled at Ellie and offered her a handshake. "But, he really named the boat after me? He only named those after his ex-wives."

Ellie smiled and shook hands with Julia. "Nice to meet you, I'm Ellie Bishop but you probably already know that. I hope we can become friends once."

Julia smiled and nodded but then excused herself and went up to MTAC. This was the only place where she hoped to be alone so she could think about everything. She always used to do that so this time she hoped her mom would be in her office instead of MTAC. She needed some time alone. Ellie's mentioning of being a friend overwhelmed Julia with memories of her previous female agent of Gibbs' team, Ziva.

Julia found the MTAC empty and sat in the back, blankly staring at the screen for a minute until she felt the burning feeling of tears trying to come to surface. She couldn't hold them back anymore so she just let all the memories flow over her and let the tears fall.

 _They met for the first time when she came to NCIS to stop them from killing her brother. Julia knew Ziva could be trusted the same moment when she killed her brother in order to save Gibbs. Later, Gibbs accepted her to his team and they saw each other every day. They had their moments, mostly laughing and smiling about the most everyday things._

 _Like that time when they both decided to prank Tony and have given his phone number to everyone in NCIS building and told everyone he was ballet teacher making some kind of research on ballet in society, that way they want to pay him back for all the things he usually did to his teammates. They even made Gibbs laugh out loud when he saw's Tony face when they told him what they did._

 _But Ziva was also always there when Julia wasn't exactly happy. For example when Julia's first boyfriend cheated on her Ziva was the first one to know and she seemed to know what to say to make her feel better._

 _Or that time when Jenny was kidnapped and Julia didn't know what to do and was in complete shock because the kidnappers always called her and tried to reason with her. They knew that Julia was most vulnerable by hurting her parents._

 _Julia promised Ziva that she would always be there for her if she needed anything. When Ziva was in danger Julia wasn't there and it the next thing she knew, Ziva was dead, killed undercover saving Julia's parents, saving Jenny mostly. At the funeral, Julia only talked to Tony, and it was to ask him for details about Ziva's death. Julia knew one thing, one day she was going to avenge her best friend's death. And so when she got back to London she read the report. She didn't want to think about those days as the ones she barely remembers. She was mostly crying, screaming and shaking every time she tried to read the report. But eventually she did and she found out that those people were trying to kill Jenny and Gibbs for one of their undercover operations when Jenny failed to kill a member of drug dealership. Ziva then went undercover as a new high profile drug smuggler. She was killed in order to let NCIS have a case against the druglord but at the same time to stop druglord from hurting Jenny or Gibbs. She died protecting Julia's family. And that was something Julia would never forget. Ziva died doing one thing that Julia promised to do. She blamed herself for what happened to Ziva and she still was blaming herself._

 _Ziva was dead and there was nothing Julia could do about it now. It was too late. She wasn't there when Ziva needed her._

 _Even when Julia got into a fight with her parents Ziva was there to support her decisions and also pulled some strings in order Julia safely started new life in London._

At the time Jenny walked into MTAC to inform Julia that her daughter was probably hungry, Julia was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. At the sight of her daughter like that Jenny ran towards her and sat down next to her, pulling her into a hug. At first Julia didn't even notice her mom was beside her but when she did, she made herself comfortable in her embrace and didn't try to stop the tears.

"Julia, calm down, it's okay. Everything's okay." Jenny tried to calm down her daughter.

"No, not everything is okay. Nothing is okay. And you know the worst part? I can't make it ok."

"What's wrong?"

Julia thought for a second about telling her everything but decided against it. She wasn't ready to discuss it with anyone else apart from Peter. "Nothing. I'm fine, I'm gonna be fine once I walk out of this building with my daughter." Julia wiped her tears away and forced a smile.

"Julia, you can't sob and shake at one moment and then the next tell me nothing's wrong. Something obviously is wrong."

"Mom, stop. Please. No matter how much I used to trust you, five years is a long time to regain everything in couple of hours. Now you had a reason to come up here?"

Jenny shook her head, she knew that five years was a long time but she was still hurt knowing what they once had. She knew that she was going to do anything and everything to get that back and she knew it was going to take time. She was willing to wait so instead of arguing she just kissed her daughter's top of head and smiled. "Your daughter is probably hungry. You better go before Tony loses his mind."

Julia chuckled, "Yeah I better do. Then I'm going to pay a visit to my dad, would you come with me to his place? You know, just in case he doesn't want to see me."

Jenny smiled, "of course I'll come with you. And why wouldn't he want you back? You're probably the only thing he's ever thinking about. Especially after cases like last one and those seem to have the worst timing."

Julia walked out of MTAC down to bullpen to feed her daughter. After she was finished she took a deep breath.

Jenny gave her daughter a reassuring smile, "You ready?"

"Ready. The sooner the better." Julia grabbed her bag while Jenny took Ziva and they walked towards the elevator and drove off to Gibbs' house. It was now or never.

 _ **So what do you think?**_

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 _ **Klaruus**_


	5. I Miss Her

_**Hi everyone! Thanks for the reviews, favorites and follows!**_

 _ **Here is the next chapter. I know, it's a bit short but I'm planning on some Gibbs-Julia moments in the next one :D**_

 _ **ENJOY READING!**_

Julia was standing in front of her dad's house. She wanted to knock but stopped. He'd have the doors unlocked anyway so why even bother knocking. Turning around, looking for her mom she locked eyes with her and Jenny gave her a reassuring nod. "Go on, he's probably in the basement. I'll wait in the kitchen."

Julia nodded and walked in.

Down in his basement Gibbs heard his front door open. He sighed thinking it was probably Jenny on her mission to make him feel better after the case, again. She always thought she was helping but all that he really wanted was to be left alone, alone with his thoughts and memories. It hurt him, every single time more than before, thinking about his daughter, knowing there was little possibility to ever see her again. But he wouldn't give up, not yet.

He looked up the stairs and stood up still. He was looking at her and noticed tears in her eyes when she walked down the stairs and stopped at the bottom. "Dad…"

He shook his head in disbelief and looked around his basement, trying to avoid eye contact.

She saw that and made a careful step forward towards him. "Dad, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And she dropped her head, now looking at her feet.

He waited a while longer and when he noticed Julia was about to turn around and leave crying. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her as hard as he could. Caressing her hair he gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. "My little girl is back. My little girl." He didn't want to let go of her and she felt safe in his arms.

"I'm sorry I left." Julia whispered between sobs.

And then Ziva made a crying noise upstairs. Gibbs looked up, "What was that?"

Julia chuckled at his expression while wiping her tears away, "That must be my daughter. Come with me, I want you to meet her." She grabbed his hand and led him upstairs. He kept quiet and when he saw Jenny holding a baby he smiled.

She looked at him, "What Jethro? Brings memories back?"

He just nodded, "A lot of memories."

Julia laughed and took Ziva from mom's hands and gave her to dad. "This is my daughter Ziva."

Gibbs looked at her and she could see tears forming in his eyes, "it's so nice of you to name her Ziva. I know she meant a lot to you."

Julia was visibly touched by words and managed just a small smile.

It was the first time she talked to her parents after Ziva's death. Jenny wrapped arms around her daughter and whispered. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Julia let a tear fall and replied, "Thank you. I thought it would help to be as far away from you as possible when dealing with it all but only now I see how easier it is to have someone around that knew her personally. Peter helped a lot, he knew everything about her. It was my way of dealing with it by talking about her, trying to remember all the beautiful things."

"Sorry to interrupt, but who's Peter? My granddaughter's father?" Gibbs asked.

Julia and Jenny both chuckled and looked at each other when Julia spoke, "Yes, Peter's my fiancé and a father of your granddaughter."

"Then why is he not here?"

"He had to finish his work and he'll come in a little less than three weeks."

Gibbs nodded and looked back at Ziva. It looks like she was going to be his girl as well.

Gibbs looked back at Julia and smiled "Wait, that means you're staying for longer than three weeks?"

"Yes dad, I'm staying."

"You mean moving back here to Washington?"

Julia laughed and nodded.

"Good, because I missed you and I don't want you to be away. Oh, where are you staying while you're here?"

"I thought I'd stay with mom."

"Okay. But if you need anything you know where to find me."

"I have to go now; I have a meeting in MTAC." Jenny excused herself and left.

Noticing that Ziva fell asleep in Gibbs' hands he put her in her chair and sat down on a sofa, pulling Julia down to sit next to him. She snuggled next to him and he put an arm around her. "I really missed you Julia."

"I know. I missed you all too." She looked at him, "You know, it hurt as hell. And I thought it'd be better keeping a distance. But it wasn't exactly easy. I managed my way but still I thought about all of you every single day. And I'll never forgive myself for not being here when Ziva…" Julia stopped talking because she just couldn't.

"Now stop. Julia it isn't your fault Ziva's dead. You couldn't have done anything even if you were here."

"But I could've said goodbye! I could've told her to be careful. I could've helped!"

"But you couldn't have changed her mind. You think it's easy for me and Jen, knowing she was protecting us? You think I didn't blame myself at the beginning? That she had to sacrifice her life in order to save ours! You can ask Jen or Tony or McGee or I don't know who else. It wasn't easy for any of us. So don't blame yourself."

Julia hugged her dad and whispered, "She always took care about me. She knew I wouldn't survive if I lost you two so she saved you. Even when I was supposed to help her it was her helping me at the end. I miss her. I would want her to meet Peter and my daughter, I would want her to be there when I get married. I want her to be alive again."

"I know. I want her to be alive too." Gibbs hugged her even more and kissed her forehead then let her fall asleep next to him.

After couple of hours Julia was awoken by cries of Ziva. She looked at the clock first, "What? How could I sleep for 2 hours?" She looked at her father, "How did you manage to keep Ziva quiet for so long. She must really be hungry now."

Gibbs just chuckled, "Experience Julia. Experience."

Julia smiled and shook her head, "She's definitely going to be your baby girl, isn't she?" She saw him smirk and he handed her Ziva to be fed.

After Ziva was fed and ready, Julia walked into the kitchen, "Dad, I probably should be going now. I still have to prepare everything at mom's house and it's getting quite late."

Gibbs smiled and grabbed the car keys, "I'm gonna drive you there so Jen doesn't have to drive here to pick you up."

"Okay. Let's go."

 _ **Thanks for reading! Now please review, favorite and follow. Tell me what you think, what you don't like and what you want to see in following chapters.**_

 _ **I LOVE YOU ALL**_

 _ **Klaruus**_


	6. Hurt

**Hi everyone! Thanks for reviews.**

 **It was about time I updated another chapter so here it is!**

 **From now on I hope to be able to update once a week because school is kind of crazy right now.**

 **ENJOY READING :)**

Julia P.O.V

I thought it was Ziva crying again and that I've misheard her though it never happened before, as someone whispered "Julia, wake up." repeatedly. After realizing it was my mom, I looked at her a bit annoyed. She knew I wasn't exactly a morning person and she wasn't either so I was a little angry when I saw it was only 5am and I've only slept for an hour since Ziva woke up the last time. "Whaaat?" I growled.

Mom laughed, "I just wanted to let you know I have to go to work. I have a MTAC conference."

"And you had to wake me up for this? You could've just left a message or something." I turned away from her and pulled covers over my head. "Let. Me. Sleep."

"Julia," mom chuckled, "You have your car down in the garage."

"What?" I sat up and faced her, "You kept my car? Really?" I smiled brightly.

"Yes. And now I really have to go. See you later, if you decide to come around." She kissed me on my cheek and left smiling.

Now that I was more awake than asleep I got up and headed to the bathroom. Getting ready real slow, I asked Noemi whether she could make me a cup of coffee. Black and strong. Of course she agreed with a smile on her face. "Do you need help with Ziva?" She asked kindly.

"I'm going to take a shower, if she wakes up just rock her for a bit. She shouldn't be hungry yet."

Noemi nodded letting me take a long shower to wake me up completely.

I walked down into the kitchen and the smell of freshly made coffee overwhelmed me. I was so tired it would be necessary to have another cup later at NCIS.

Ziva woke up just after I drank my coffee. I got her ready as well and fed her just before leaving.

When I got to NCIS I went up to mom's office first. Cynthia greeted me nicely and told me that mom is probably still in MTAC so I nodded and turned around. This time headed for bullpen first.

"Morning, Julia, Ziva." Tony smiled as he saw me.

I returned the smile, "Morning, Tony. Is dad here yet?"

"Nope. He hasn't come yet. Why?"

"Ah ok. Can you watch Ziva for a while? I'm headed to MTAC."

"Sure, no problem" He jumped up from his sit and took Ziva.

When I turned around and wanted to leave I almost bumped into Ellie. We both laughed at the same time and then she said, "Julia, would you want to grab a coffee with me later?"

"Sure. Just call me when you have time. If I'm not here yet I'll still be at MTAC."

"Ok." She smiled and stepped away to let me pass.

I took coffee for me and mom that I already bought earlier and entered the MTAC. I found her sitting in first row, as usual. I took empty place next to her and she smiled.

"Morning, Julia."

"Ugh, morning. Coffee for you." I said. I was tired as I've never been before and mom just laughed at me.

"Not used to getting up so early?"

"No. In the mornings Peter usually takes over feeding Ziva and lets me sleep for a couple of hours."

She laughed again. "You could've asked Noemi. She'd gladly help."

"I don't want to be demanding. Though I did ask her to make me some coffee in the morning."

"And here you're having another one?"

"Yes. The second one today. Probably just the beginning." I answered smilingly.

"But it's only 7am."

"Not a morning person. I still don't know how you manage to last a whole day since you're not that much of a morning person either."

Mom laughed again and took a sip of her coffee, "Coffee. My third one today."

I couldn't help but laugh. Conversations like that was what I missed the most. It was almost too nice to last long and so it all ended when mom looked at me and asked, "Why did you never answer the phone calls?"

I kept silent at first. I didn't want to talk about it but I figured that it'd be necessary to do it soon. "Because I wasn't ready. At least I thought I wasn't ready to talk to you. I felt betrayed when you said you were better off me."

"But I was angry! You know I didn't mean those things like that!"

"Let me finish, please. I felt betrayed and hurt. Even disappointed. Not only you but dad as well wanted me away. And so I left, though I was crying uncontrollably all the time and I was completely down once I arrived to London. I was alone and without anything. Thanks to Ziva I got a place to stay for a couple of months. She pulled some strings and convinced some of her friends to let me crash. If it wasn't for Ziva looking out for me, I don't know if I'd survive. Later I found a job, fell in love with Peter. I finally managed to stand up and live my life. I managed to get on with my life when you first called. I don't even know how you got the number in the first place but I as hell wasn't going to talk to any of you because I knew it'd break me. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold up. I couldn't let myself go again and so I ignored the calls only to end up crying every night about how much I miss you all. And that was when I realized that I'd never get over you. I'd never forget you. And when the phone calls stopped it was just an ideal opportunity to convince myself that you gave up and that you really wanted me away. It made it easier somehow to think that you forgot about me. It made me feel less guilty. I felt like it was actually better that way. Yes there were still occasions when I spent a whole day indoors clutching pictures of us and crying in corner. But most of the time I was happy. Not happy like I ever was around you but as happy as one can be in a situation like that. It wasn't nearly as happy as I used to be but it was something. You know I actually stayed in contact with Ziva all the time so I guess that's how you got the number but I don't blame her. When she died I only talked to Tony here at the funeral and then once over emails. I wanted to get report on Ziva's death. I wanted to know why she died, I wanted to have some kind of closure only to find out she was protecting you when it was me that promised myself I'll always be there for you, dad, Ziva and everyone else. I promised myself I'll be there to help you. But I wasn't. So I couldn't get rid of guilt this time and it just kept piling up until one day I almost broke up with Peter as I told him that my life is so messed up that no one can fix it. But he didn't leave, he wouldn't leave. He just wanted me to talk, to talk about you, about Ziva, about friends, about my life. And so I did. And that's why I'll always be thankful to him for keeping me sane. For keeping me alive. The rest you already know, getting pregnant and ending up here."

Mom remained quiet with a few tears running down her cheeks. She hugged me and whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I ever said, for all the awful words I never meant; I never intended to hurt you that much. And one thing, Julia, don't blame yourself for Ziva's death. You know it's how she wanted it and even if you were here, you couldn't prevent her from making those decisions. She wouldn't want you to feel guilty."

"I know. It's just that I miss her so much."

"I know. I know. We all miss her."

 **So what do you think?**

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 **Till next sunday!**

 **LOVE  
Klaruus**


	7. Ellie

**Hi everyone! So it's Sunday and here is another chapter!**

I left Ziva with my mom and went for a coffee with Ellie. I wanted to get to know her better and she probably wanted to know me as well. So when we sat down at the nearest café Ellie started talking, "I thought it'd be good for us to talk and maybe get to know each other."

I smiled and nodded, "Yes, that's a good idea." I didn't want things between us awkward since she's the one that got Ziva's position. I didn't want Ellie to feel bad for it.

"I don't want to replace Ziva or anything. Just so you know."

I looked at her, "Ellie, I never thought you wanted. I can imagine how hard it must be for you. But trust me, I don't see you trying to replace her. So don't worry about it."

"Ok. Good at least someone sees it that way."

"Are you saying that others think you're trying to replace her? I can't imagine anyone of the team seeing it that way. But anyway I wasn't here for the last 5 years so things might've changed."

"I don't know if I want to talk about it."

I chuckled, "Ellie, if one thing, you should know that you can trust me. I basically live my life keeping secrets. Once between me and Ziva, between me and mom for dad not to know, and vice versa, then between me and Tony, me and Peter… I basically keep secrets all the time."

Ellie laughed and nodded, "It's just, your parents weren't exactly keen on me when I first arrived. Though it was your father who offered me a position in the team."

"How long were you banned from _the_ desk?"

"I haven't been. Why?"

"Oh," I whispered. "It's just that after Kate died, dad didn't allow Ziva to sit at that desk for quite a while. So I thought, that maybe he hadn't allowed you either."

"Oh. Well he allowed me. But everyone else looked at me like I had done something awfully wrong. I tried to prove myself; I tried to show them that I'm worth being on the team."

"You know. That desk, it has a reputation now. Two great agents died. Dad probably doesn't want to lose you either."

"Well, he was going a bit easy on me at the beginning and director always told me to stay away from getting personal with Gibbs. She told me to not try to see a father figure in him. I didn't know about you but others from the team told me later. When I confronted Gibbs about going easy on me, he stopped doing it. That's when things changed a bit."

"I'm sorry, Ellie. When I left, I never really thought about what the consequences could be. I got into a huge fight with them trying to get them back together. This time it ended with them saying they were better without me anyway. So I left. Forever. But I'm back now." I smiled.

Ellie didn't know what to say this time. I just smiled at her, "Ellie, you can call me and talk to me whenever you want. I want us to be friends. Something like me and Ziva were before, though I know no one will ever mean so much to me as she did, no one will ever replace her. You know what I believe? That my heart grows with every friend that I get. It's not like I have a heart and the more friends there are the more cramped it gets. It just grows bigger."

Ellie laughed and hugged me, "Thanks, Julia. It means a lot to me."

"And besides, I think I gotta talk to my parents about what they put you through. Although they are my parents I seem to get angry with them so often. Usually about their stupid behavior."

We both laughed and walked to the NCIS together, smiling and laughing all the way back.

###back at NCIS###

It was around noon when I got a phone call. Excited when I saw it was Peter calling I stepped away from everyone who was down at the bullpen and answered,

"Hi!"

"Hi, sweety! How are you?"

"I'm fine. Doing the best that I can."

"So tell me everything, you talked to your parents?"

"Yeah, I did," I said looking around and locking eyes with mom who smiled at me. "I talked to everyone."

"And?"

"Well there are a lot of unresolved things, memories and everything but I've managed to have some private talk with mom and dad. As well with Ellie, the new agent. Well she's not that new anymore, it's just me that was gone for so long."

"I told you, Julia. You let yourself suffer too much, you should've talked to them sooner."

I sighed, "More hurt and pain was caused than I could've imagined. It didn't affect only me and them but everyone around us. I didn't realize that before, and I'm sorry if I've ever put you through anything like that."

"Jules, don't worry about that, we made it work. We will make it work forever."

"I know. I love you, and I miss you. There's only been two days."

He laughed, "I love you too. I might actually make it sooner since the paper work is being done faster than I could've imagined."

"That's great! Let me know when you know anything."

"Will. I promise. How's Ziva doing?"

"Well it looks like she's gonna be a grandpa's little angel." I laughed and he chuckled as well.

"That's great. I gotta go now, better work on those papers as fast as possible. Love you."

"Love you too. Bye!"

"Bye."

I walked back to the bullpen after ending the call.

"Peter?" Mom asked with a smile on her face.

"Yup." I smiled back.

"You two really do love each other." She said while her smile faded and I knew it reminded her of the love she shared with dad.

Dad chuckled and looked at mom, "That love reminds you of something, Jen?"

She gave him a glare that I couldn't react to in any other way than to laugh. They both looked at me as I shrugged with my shoulders, "You two still have this special connection. You just have to unbury it," and I left with a smirk on my mouth.

Though 5 years have passed and though this was the reason I left, I hadn't yet gave up on them. I might've just chosen a different approach.


	8. He Loves Me

**Hi, it's Sunday again and I'm back with another chapter!I hope you like it and let me know what you think in reviews! I accept constructive criticism as well.**

A week has passed and I can say it was an amazing one. Though I'm already worried Ziva will be rotten spoiled by her grandparents. The first thing when dad sees me is _"Where's my Zi?"_. He started calling her that way and I don't mind it. Everything was going great, except that Tony was starting to act weirder with each day and I didn't know why. No one knew why. I asked dad about it and he just said he noticed it as well. McGee didn't know anything either. The weirdest part was that he didn't want to hold Ziva anymore, I could pretty much say he was avoiding her. Wanting to find out what was going on I decided to visit him at his apartment tonight. Leaving Ziva with my mom, I left and when I got there I didn't hesitate to knock on his door.

He opened the door just a little at first, probably being cautious, but then he invited me in, with a sigh, which bothered me quite a lot.

"What are you doing here, Julia?" He asked, sitting down on his sofa across me.

"I'm here to talk." And before I could continue, he stood up,

"There's nothing to talk. Can you leave now? I bet Ziva's missing you."

I was surprised by his reaction but remained calm and didn't move. Instead I asked him to sit down, "Ziva's with mom, she'll be okay without me for this evening. Sit down, please? The fact that you had to tell me there's nothing to talk says that there is apparently plenty to talk."

"Talk about what? The way you left? The way you suffered? The way you came back because _Peter made you reconsider_?" He almost shouted and I swear I could see tears in his eyes.

"No. I'm not here to talk about myself but-"

"-but that's all you seem to do these last days since you came back. You never asked how I've been doing, never asked how Tim or Abby have been doing. You even talk to Ellie more than you talk to me!"

I was shocked by every word he said. "Tony, that's why I'm here tonight. I'm here to ask you how you've been and why are you avoiding Ziva if the problem's with me?"

He sighed and looked at me with hurt written all over his face. Before he could answer I whispered, "it's because you loved Ziva, isn't it? And now that she'd gone, you can't look at my daughter without being reminded of her. I get it. I understand you, it's what I was afraid of as well."

"Julia, stop. I never, ever loved Ziva. She was a friend, a great friend, but never more than that. I had feelings for another, I still do. And she left."

"Tony, I'm sorry to hear about all that. I really am, but I don't see why you have to avoid my daughter for that. I really don't understand." I looked away when I felt his hand taking mine and forcing me to look back at him as he said,

"I'm sorry, Julia. But I can't talk about it, not with you. You're too involved in my problems. And besides, you already have enough of your own problems so I wouldn't want to burden you with mine."

I really didn't understand everything. And after a while it got me, realization me jump up and storm out of his apartment and drive away. Drive to the place where we first kissed.

I was only 15 and he was 25 at that time. People might say I was still a child but my family and friends said I was a grown up at that time already, and that I already had my life almost in order. I can say I was pretty grown up as well. NCIS needed me for an undercover op in which Tony was my boyfriend, at first I thought we were both just acting but I knew he started falling in love with me, I even felt something for him. After the op we both decided it was better to keep affection at bay and be just friends again. And that we were, just friends, until I left and never spoke to anyone again. I tried to forget about everything that ever happened. I couldn't forget anything, I just learnt not to think about it. Everything became a dream and not a reality anymore. The same happened with what I had with Tony, until tonight when he said he never loved Ziva but another one. I knew that's why Tony was acting strange, because he still loved me and I came back with a child and a fiancé. I broke Tony's heart again. For the third time without realizing it, because obviously I must've broken it as well when I told him to be just friends and then when I left. And that's why he couldn't look at Ziva because it was just a reminder for him that I slipped away, that I had a family now and that I wasn't ever going to be his.

I didn't know exactly what I felt, I never loved Tony as much as he obviously did, maybe I _was_ a little young at that time to feel anything real. But now I loved Peter, I loved him and I knew it, I knew I loved him with all my heart. And I felt sorry for Tony.

 **TONY'S P.O.V.**

She left, again. She just stood up and left my apartment, I know I've said some things I now regret but still, she was always the hard one and she never let words being said in anger get to her. Well except for when they had that huge fight that resulted in her leaving everything behind and starting a new life. Starting a family and now having a fiancé and his daughter. And the worst thing was that that fiancé wasn't me and the baby wasn't mine. I'll never get to have her again. Damn that stupid op 5 years ago and damned be that stupid acting that ignited love for her inside me. Damned be everything about her. Damned be her perfect everything, her perfect life, her perfect smile, her perfect hair, everything.

"I'll never have her." I whispered to myself, not even realizing I said it out loud. Not realizing that the next thing I did was drive over to Gibbs' and let myself in. not finding him in his house I suited myself down in his basement, opening a bottle of bourbon I started drinking. Sip after sip to let the pain go away, to let the memories be erased, to make everything stop until it was all dark around. Until I passed out in tears.

 **JULIA'S P.O.V**

I called dad to meet at a diner. I wanted to talk to him about Tony, he was the only one that knew what happened between us when we were undercover.

We met and we talked. He was quiet, listened to me and let me do all the talking. When I was finished, he looked at me, "Julia, I'm not the one to make a decision here. Whatever you do, Ziva is still just a baby so she won't know anything, but don't waste your time because she's going to grow up and the longer you wait, the more she'll be affected by your choice as well."

"But dad, I don't know what to do! I loved Tony, I think did. And now I love Peter and for that I'm sure I do. I don't want to break hearts of either one."

"As I told you, you are on your own in this one."

I sighed, knowing that he was right, he can't make that decision for me, I'll have to figure it out on my own.

"Let's go, Jules. First we go to our house, I have to give you something for Ziva and then I'll drop you off."

"Okay, let's go." I tried to smile but didn't exactly succeed as all that was going in my mind was a big confusion. As much as I usually knew what to do and decided without a problem, this was a hard one. Though I didn't consider leaving Peter, because he was the best thing that happened to me, I only thought about ways to reduce Tony's pain. And it was going to be hard because in a week Peter would come and they'd be all together. They'd be a family that Tony wanted.


End file.
